Hi Mike, Pothos, Steve, Justin and Ray here!
This post aims to shed light about the full MSM process - details about what takes place from indication of interest, to a session, and finally, closure. Here, we hope to provide additional insight into our thought process, address any potential concerns, and share the reasonings behind our approach.
Over the past 4 years, we’ve been running and fine-tuning the site as fellow enthusiasts and chief lifelong learners of the craft.
Our experiences, coupled with recent exchange and learning trips overseas, have helped with further insights and improvements - not just in the actual sensual massage itself, but also in the preparation, planning and efforts that take place before and after a session.
Note: If your experience has been different from what is detailed here (as of Aug 2022), please let us know.
Especially for first-timers or newer receivers, you should always be asked to provide feedback on your experience that goes to your giver as well as the site founders for accountability purposes.
In particular, our process has seen changes over the years, adjusted and tweaked to provide more clarity, sense of assurance, safety and empowerment to receivers in addition to greater consideration for all parties involved (givers as well as other partners / observers / participants / learners that may be present in a session).
From an originally less-structured short consult and chat, this has evolved into a 5-step process (since ~Jun 2022) that we will detail below:
1. Enquiry -> 2. Consult & Plan -> 3. Session Briefing & Consent -> 4. Actual Session -> 5. Post-session Feedback
This is no secret and in sharing, we hope that others who share the same passion use and adopt similar processes. By being transparent, we help to keep ourselves accountable, as well as provide checks and balances that sessions are carried out respecting all boundaries and in good faith.
1) Enquiry*
Upon filling out the enquiry/contact us form, someone will contact you to understand the nature of your interest. Feel free to ask as many questions as you like to clarify any concerns. If aligned, you’ll be asked to proceed to step #2.
*This step is optional - if you’re certain you want to experience a sensual massage, you may directly fill in the consult form in step #2 and discussions may start from there.
2) Consult & Plan
Note: There is no obligation to proceed with a session at any point, even if a detailed discussion and plan has been drawn up.
Note: For regulars, the consult form may not need to be filled in every session once a common understanding is reached. Planning can be done via other channels as required.
The consult form is a longer, more detailed form that provides the giver(s) a better understanding of your intentions, reasons for interest, boundaries, preferences and other relevant information that will eventually result in a session plan.
Here, you’ll choose from a list of givers that you might prefer. Your consult information will go directly to them, to respond and to begin the process of crafting you a session plan. If you do not select any giver, the consult form will go to Mike and Pothos for initial follow-up. If you select multiple potential givers, the consult form will go to all givers selected.
Please note that givers listed are a loose collective of individuals that share a similar passion and ethos, any arrangements made are on an individual basis. The site primarily facilitates a safer and more structured process in connecting you with them (see faq for more info).
Once the consult form is received, the giver(s) will contact you back and may ask further questions to clarify, before providing a rough plan - this will allow you to better visualise and understand the broad strokes of how a session would flow.
Consultation and communication here is critical, and when done well, result in the best session outcomes! Being open and direct helps - givers are non-judgemental and willing to listen, and you may ask and share as much as you like without obligation to proceed.
Only when you are fully comfortable and satisfied should you proceed - logistics can be firmed up at this point, if you haven’t already done so already.
3) Session Briefing & Consent
Note: Boundary setting and consent is extremely important to positive and beautiful session outcomes.
Don’t feel embarrased or shy to discuss this in greater detail - all givers are non-judgmental, open, and, may be questioned or even challenged.
Note: For regulars, this form may not need to be filled in every session once a common understanding is reached.
As time may have passed between the initial consult and the actual session itself, a briefing before the session begins is critical to making sure expectations and understanding are aligned between all parties involved.
While this step has always been in place, the level and coverage of the briefing has varied between givers. Recently, we’ve made steps to try to align this step further. As such, we’re providing an optional session briefing & consent form for givers to use and reference.
Do note that experienced givers may have their own (more customised) form due to different styles and skillsets. Feel free to take a look at our default session briefing & consent form to get a feel for what the usual pre-session briefing should cover.
As the briefing is the final discussion before the session begins, the answers gathered during this briefing supercede any others made earlier.
4) Actual Session
Note: We take discussed boundaries and consent very seriously. In our feedback form (step #5), we expressly ask whether boundaries are respected.
Especially for first-timers or newer receivers, you should always be asked to provide feedback on your experience.
Finally! The actual session itself!
Relax and fully enjoy your session, knowing that your interests have been fully taken into account.
During the session, do note that you can always provide feedback. Also, you can always change your mind during a session - in terms of consent, you can always decide to withdraw consent to something you agreed to earlier.
However, for anything you have not agreed to (answered ‘no’ in the briefing), you will not be allowed to change it mid-session to a ‘yes’. The giver will also not attempt to ask you to change your mind mid-way through a session.
For reference, here’s a detailed write-up of the 1-on-1 sensual massage experience, and a detailed write-up of a 2 guys 4 hands sensual massage experience - check it out!
5) Post-session Feedback
Note: Especially for first-timers or newer receivers, please provide feedback on your experience. It’s important!
For regulars, feedback may not need to be filled in every session. It can, however, serve as a useful checkpoint for discussion with your giver (for example, every 5th session).
The post-session feedback form helps us to provide closure to the entire MSM process. At the same time, your giver may also give their feedback and thoughts to you too.
Your feedback is important and helps in the following ways:
Allows you to get more from a session by reflecting on the experience itself.
Keeps all givers accountable by checking in that all boundaries were respected during the session.
Helps others that are new to MSM know what to expect. Pay it forward by leaving detailed, honest reviews.
Allows givers to reflect, improve and continue to grow - for everyone’s benefit.
When arranging for repeat sessions, givers can review notes made in the feedback form and adjust for better session experiences.
Conclusion
We hope that this post provides more insight and clarity into our process and mindset towards planning amazing sessions.
We would like to acknowledge that it is only with support, encouragement and input over the years, that we have managed to continue to improve - not just in the craft itself, but also in our approach and communication underpinning it.
To everyone that has contributed your thoughts and support over the years - a very big thank you - you’ve made a difference!!!