Different strokes for different folks. There are so many reasons why someone might feel that a meditative sensual massage (MSM) is just what they need. I’d like to talk about one of these reasons and my reflections on them in this post.
In our journey of life, sometimes one needs to make a pit stop to rest and recover, before moving on when refreshed. This recovery pit stop can take many forms, and, I’ve seen MSM sessions (usually a series of them) play a part in this process. When done right, it can be a tremendous help on our way forward - to illustrate, let me share one of my personal experiences.
Recently, a regular client (and friend) decided that it was time to leave the comfort of her pit stop, and, forge ahead anew. This got me thinking about the ebb and flow of regular connections made via MSM. Does there need to be a definitive end to exploration? Or should things be left open-ended, perhaps picked up again, many years down the road? After some reflection, I believe that this is contextual to every connection we make - thus there isn’t a single right answer that fits everyone.
In her case though, while closure to exploration and self-discovery sessions was not an easy choice to make, I thought that she had made a well-considered, courageous decision to do so.
Journaling
One of the steps to closure was to journal our thoughts and, with Cathy’s (the name is fictitious) permission (and a little redacting of overly personal notes) here’s what she wrote:
Sensual massage changed my life. That’s quite a bold statement to make. But it did turn my life around... in a way that I hope my fellow ladies will experience too. Here’s why.
I decided to engage Mike’s services after coming out of a draggy long distance relationship. Even though I had a nasty break up experience several months before that, I had everything else going well for me in life. Yet, I was feeling really emotionally drained, generally tired and unhappy with life. I felt that my love language of touch was not fulfilled. Even though I had the love and support of friends and family, I felt misunderstood and my love tank was perpetually empty.
Mike is incredibly open minded. At first glance, one might think that he’s just bullshitting his way through so that he could ‘enjoy’ getting his hands on any girl that procures his services. To me, as I found out over time, that could not be further from the truth.
I was relatively new to experiencing sensual massages. I’ve heard of it, and those exposures were limited to porn videos online. After having sensual massages with Mike for about 1.5 years, it has changed my perspective of love languages, relationship possibilities, and opened my mind to the intricacies of learning to love and care for myself first, and then extending that to others around me.
Sensual massage sessions, to me, are as much of an art as it is a science. The psychological benefits of touch has been widely-researched and reported on - it provides a sense of connectedness, empathy and comfort. Sometimes when accompanied by verbal assurances, touching can have profound comforting effects to the receiver. In my case, Mike made me feel like I deserved to be loved, that there is someone willing to spend the time and effort to bring me the kind of comfort I was seeking.
As an art, sensual massages can take on different forms. For example, there could be a pre-activity where there is a dinner with conversations about anything and everything under the moon. Or it could include post-session cuddles where conversions about the session or non-session topics could be discussed. In my case, I enjoyed rattling about work colleagues in post-sessions (oops).
The massage itself is another art and science altogether. The science bit consists of knowing the body parts that can be massaged, how to massage, and understanding the sensitivity levels of different body parts. Yes, different women have different sensitivity levels at different parts of our bodies. The art bit is the psychological play that can be customized to everyone’s needs - a curious fantasy, a role play, a sensual dominance experience. You can choose to be restrained, blindfolded, nipple-clamped, butt slapped. You name it, you’ll get it.
With Mike’s experience, he could gauge very quickly (and accurately) where my sensitive spots were, and even ranked them according to levels of arousal. He could tell what my fantasies were and meet them every session. Interestingly, while my fantasy requests rarely changed, no 2 sessions were the same. There was constant open communication, discussion and non-judgmental responses to my requests before and after every session.
The fun bed activities aside, my sessions with Mike, at the core, was a very personal journey to learn about myself. Not only did I learn about my turn-ons, my arousal spots and how to enjoy activities in bed, I also learnt about my preferences, how I can communicate love, and how my turn ons relate to qualities I was searching for in a romantic partner.
I learnt how to stand up and speak for myself, to advocate for my preferences and to understand my boundaries and limits. I learnt about what I wanted in a romantic partner and how I could communicate those needs when I decided to give the dating world another shot. I learnt that life is about acceptance of your past and present, and to learn from them so that you can put your happiness, in whatever forms they may be, as a priority in your future.
Thank you Mike, not just for the amazing sessions, but for opening my mind, heart and perspectives. I am at a much better place than before, because of you.
Cathy
We journaled together and wrote without knowing what the other would pen down. To provide my perspective, here are my final thoughts to Cathy below (please excuse the grammar, as I’ve reproduced what I wrote with minimal edits):
At first, a very tentative and polite enquiry. Over initial chats, lots of questions were asked and answered but it was over a call where the connection and trust began to build up.
Over time, we found out that we had a lot in common, and the tentative connection grew into a blossoming friendship.
I found her at a point where she wasn't at her best, but the potential to heal, to grow and to glow was evident.
As with many people in this part of the world, the conservative and judgemental society placed chains around her own self-discovery, especially with respect to her sensual and sexual self.
Over time, however, with affirmation, lots of huggsss, assurance (plus some blindfolds, ropes and smacks 😜) - she learnt to know herself, understand, and love herself much better. Rapid progress and growth was made, and discoveries about her preferences, as well as many firsts were uncovered. Sessions were always intense and always different. I don't think we've ever had a bad one, and, chemistry was evident.
Today, she is such a confident and beautiful woman who knows what she enjoys and is able to articulate it. There is a maturity and openness in communication that has developed, that can only be a positive contribution to her life experiences ahead. It grew over time and now she can run and grow further, on her own and in future endeavours. That's a wonderful thing!
I'm grateful for the serendipity that brought us together. Grateful for the connection we both share. For both teaching as well as learning from her.
This isn't the end of the story, but the end of a small chapter. There are many more adventures to be written. It is my honour to have been able to be a small part of some of them.
There comes a time for new beginnings and such is the ebb and flow of life. New beginnings require changes and I am bittersweet, but happy to close the chapter with grace. I am cheering Cathy on - in her pursuit of living her successful, positive life.
I leave with a heart full of love, care and concern for the future Cathy - I trust that it'll be good ahead for her, and her loved ones.
And yet, if ever there is a need for me to be supportive and to be there, well, I believe I will. Only a message away. So go without any regrets and with my full blessings!
Your (unconventional) friend, Mike
Final Thoughts
As we learn and grow from our experiences, my reflections lead me to some final thoughts about recurring MSM sessions.
There are many reasons why one might feel a session is appropriate. No judgment, only acceptance and affirmation. Life positivity comes first!
Recurring sessions can have a strong growth and self-discovery dimension. It is my preference to be mindful of them so that we see lasting benefits beyond physical comfort and pleasure.
It’s useful and important to keep on communicating & discussing (I call them check-ins) every so often about how our mindsets, perceptions and thoughts change and to keep aligning them. (Reminder to self!)
The experience and skill of MSM lie not only in the execution of a session itself but, in the meta-elements that surround a session and repeated sessions.
Your fellow journeyman in life,
Mike