Hi, Mike here :)

Penning down some thoughts here about how my approach towards giving sensual massage (and sensual dominance) has changed over time. I've always wanted to give nothing but the very best experiences possible, and looking back, one thing stands out for having the greatest impact on session outcomes.

What is this secret sauce? Read on...

A bit about SMA

For those of you that don't know me, I started Sensual Massage Art (SMA) with Pothos as a passion project to share about the beauty of tantric, sensual and yoni massages. This site was conceived ~3 years ago after several years of independent practice - after I felt that what I knew could add value to others.

While we intended the site to be more informative and educational in nature, enquiries naturally came in from people that wanted to experience a legit sensual massage here in Singapore.

We've been told, options for experiencing sensual massages tend to be limited and dodgy for various reasons - e.g. inarticulate content, lack of validation, lack of discussion / pre-consult on boundaries, free or amazingly cheap offerings that make one doubt the intention of the giver etc.

Certainly, until today, SMA are the only ones locally running educational workshops teaching others how to give sensual massages. Do join us to learn - we share everything we know!

So what's the secret?

Some might guess - technique, honed from years of experience - and certainly this is important. However, I've had great sessions early on as a giver where I was far less skilled. Looking back, the common thread in amazing sessions was NOT superlative technique.

Instead, my best and most memorable sessions were those where the giver and receiver felt both freedom and connection. (Some of you might point out that this ‘secret’ is not one thing but two things - to me they are related and fall under the broader umbrella of our mindset towards being givers or receivers in a session)

My primary focus in sessions now, is about creating a safe space to allow freedom in all its glory, as well as seeking that connection, that spark between two individual human beings.

Get that, and nothing else matters.

One could do almost anything, and it would be absolutely amazing.

Freedom in all its glory

Have you ever felt an urge to do something, only to hold back because of fear - of being judged, condemned or ridiculed? Perhaps we don't want to be labelled a slut. Or, we might fear hurting another, by truly expressing what we feel.

Whatever the reason, this restraint, this holding back, is a blockage that stops us from being who we truly are. It happens daily, and all the time. In our everyday interactions - the roles we play, the facades we erect to somehow function in society, and sadly, in the bedroom too.

Over time, these blockages accumulate, pile up, and if not given an outlet, we will end up feeling like the shell of a human being - all form, but no meaning.

That's why I stress so strongly that in sessions, we try to find the natural flow together - no judgement no negativity, always positive, always appreciative and supportive as much as we possibly can.

Squirt all over the place? That's sexy! Scream? Why not? Go wild? Of course! Freedom to explore and experience what we had always fantasized. Our deepest desires can be expressed and - surprise - enjoyed, accepted and exulted in. Do note that this freedom to say yes, also implies a freedom to likewise say no - for boundaries to be respected always.

Because I encourage freedom, I also try to give as much freedom to others as I possibly can. I'm comfortable with touch and with myself, thus it naturally means the freedom to touch me anywhere (during a session). Again, going with the flow.

Freedom in all its glory, also means freedom from shame, guilt and fear. Much of this stems from a conditioned response to judgmental societal values that does not have our wellbeing in mind. It's not beneficial to us - why should we accept it?

Once tasted, true freedom to be ourselves can be damn bloody addictive.

Sadly such experiences and opportunities are rare - that's why we're so passionate about enabling it.

Connection - a need to be understood

I can't really explain why connection is so vital, so essential and so exhilarating. We just instinctively know it is. A part of what being human is all about. I'm sure we can dissect it and find all kinds of reasons why this is so.

Suffice to say, without connection, sessions would be mechanical, and without any soul. To me, why bother? Note: non-connectional sessions are available with other givers, with me, some elements of connection should exist in a session.

Interestingly and surprisingly, though, it is possible to truly connect in a very short time. It has to do with a certain kind of strength that is expressed as vulnerability, that encourages the other to open up and for us to touch minds and hearts at our rawest. Reviews here do bear that out.

Helping others to open up requires warmth, maturity, stability and predictability, one cannot be volatile, reactive or judgmental.

This brings to mind one of Aesop's Fables - The North Wind and the Sun:

The North Wind and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger, when a traveler came along wrapped in a warm cloak.

They agreed that the one who first succeeded in making the traveler take his cloak off should be considered stronger than the other.

Then the North Wind blew as hard as he could, but the more he blew the more closely did the traveler fold his cloak around him;

and at last the North Wind gave up the attempt. Then the Sun shined out warmly, and immediately the traveler took off his cloak.

And so the North Wind was obliged to confess that the Sun was the stronger of the two.

We open up when we feel warmth. We take away layers of protection when we feel safe. And in doing so, the more we strip away these layers, the more we connect at a deeper and deeper level.

On this note, I'm planning to write more about connection, communication and how to build trust. Also, perhaps to run a workshop or sharing session about these topics in the future.

Freedom & Connection

These two words sum up my mindset, approach and understanding in my journey thus far. Freedom and Connection are a very potent concoction that seems to lend itself to amazing, mind-blowing sessions should we try our best to tango together.

In a way, I now seek that essence above all else, and the tools we have at our disposal - sensual massage / dominance / bondage etc. are all means to an end.

Finally, I'd like to acknowledge that I could not have made this journey without other people's input, support and influence (you know who you are!) You have helped shaped this mindset and article above. Thank you.

And for you, dear reader - perhaps serendipity will connect us to somehow leave a mark and positive impact in our lives - who knows? Perhaps it's time to give it a chance - it's as simple as dropping me a note!

Cheers, Mike